“We accept the love we think we deserve” Stephen Chbosky from The Perks of Being a Wallflower
For a long time I felt undeserving of love and this quote expresses why I made poor choices in dating.
I made poor decisions on love based on my poor self-image. I was basing my flimsy self worth off of how my family and friends felt about me which fluctuated so often I was left feeling distressed.
In many ways, I can identify with the story of Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman at the well in John Chapter 4 of the Bible.
Jesus was so compassionate to a lady so lost and caught up in many affairs after being re-married time and time again -but instead of berating her, He lovingly looked upon her and offered her Himself as ‘living water’ that would truly sustain her. He promised her that she wouldn’t have to look any further than Himself for true and lasting love.
Jesus offers us this same refreshing gift today that he offered the Samaritan woman – Himself as the life-giving source of all our needs.
In Christ we are independent from worldly critiques.
I am the daughter of a King -carefully crafted in my mother’s womb and loved enough for Jesus to die for me. My worth comes from God and God only.
Jesus’ love is enough for us to be sustained by.
As a believer Jesus’ love grows within you ( the holy spirit) as time goes on. Once you accept Jesus Christ as Savior the Holy Spirit is what compels you to act like The Lord.
I personally accept Jesus’ love for me and His personal sacrificial death and resurrection for my benefit. The benefits are a relationship with God Almighty, His Son and Holy Spirit, freedom from sin, worldliness and shame as well as eternal access to heaven!
I was fortunate to get publicly adult baptized and spoke about my acceptance of Jesus as Lord. This was a powerful moment in my walk with Jesus because I love acknowledging my relationship with Him. We all need a caring friend and Savior like Jesus.
Many people think they are unworthy of love but this is NOT true and a very hurtful and destructive lie that can affect our lives negatively.
Even if you come from a broken home, our ability to accept love does not need to be limited by what we can see or have experienced because God’s love (which is experienced on a soul level) is , contrary to any self-limiting beliefs, real and perfect.
When I struggle to see myself the way God sees me, I find reassurance from the Bible, talking/praying with God, listening to worship music, my friends and boyfriend that God loves me despite what I sometimes consider my glaring weaknesses.
I know that God loves you in this space too.
Maybe you feel like your pain is too great because you’ve come from a broken home..
Maybe someone wasn’t there for you or you lost an important relationship.
You are not alone.
God gave up His own Son Jesus to all curses and sin for a time, on the cross, for humans to be reconciled back to Himself. This pained God in the flesh which He took on as Jesus physically and I can’t imagine the anguish God felt being connected to His Son so closely as He experienced the worst tormented death on the cross experiencing all sin and wickedness poured out at one time.
However God knew that Jesus would not taste death forever as Jesus rose from the grave fully alive despite expiring on the cross days before.
On a more personal note, A turning point in my life was when I lost a relationship with someone I loved very much. Although this was very hard, It compelled me closer to God in looking for answers of why human love just couldn’t feel the void in my heart. I learned something very valuable. I didn’t value myself the way God sees me and therefore I could not love myself or him. Rejecting love comes at a great price to ourselves and to others.
God is always faithful to help you overcome any difficulty you may be facing. Just ask Him into your heart, life and situation.
I pray that you would accept the wild, crazy, sacrificial, satisfying , dependable and enduring love that Jesus offers us everyday and in every moment. I pray that His grace and mercy would permeate every level of your soul and that you would not accept anything less than His passionate love in Jesus name amen.